What is love?

It's one of those questions, we know takes a little time to answer, but we think we can define what love is...but can we?

According to Socrates and Plato there are 4 types of love;

Eros version 1- Which is lustful and full of desire=sex

Eros version 2- Which is the romantic kind of love

Philia- The love for friends

Agape-The love for humanity; for each other

The love I'm referring to is Eros 2, romantic love. Today in my philosophy of success class, we discussed the relationship of love and success, and is success achieved when you find love? Over the past week we were given sticky notes and assigned to ask five people in our lives to write their own definition of love. When in class we took each definition and taped them to the wall. It was interesting to compare the definitions, and see how different each answer was. All the while still speaking the truth of love.

Some definitions were profound and poetic, others were short and simple, and naturally, there were some that spoke of the hardships and heartbreak that come with love. I think when we are trying to explain what love is ( in a positive manner) the words "unconditional," and "everlasting" seem to pop up quite frequently. Those words are romanticized and used to express the intensity of devotion. But I fear, we have to be careful of what words we use to teach children of what love is. It's unfortunate to say, but I look at cases of young females who are in abusive relationships but cannot turn away because of how we use these romanticized adjectives.

I am not trying to make it piss pour over "love." I very much still believe in a love that can last a lifetime. But what my professor, Wendy explained to us, that if we were all asked to draw a vase, that all of our vases would look different. But they would all be recognizably a vase.

Whether it be an intense chemical reaction, a mutual agreement, or butterflies in your stomach, I think love is when you find someone who has the same definition or a complimenting definition to that of your own.

Examples of Definitions

"To care about a person, more than you care about yourself."

"The perfect union of two souls."

"Unconditional mutual acceptance."

"When your mate let's you eat the last bite."

"A golden wedding anniversary."

"A facade; to be naive."

"Blinded by another."

"To willingly compromise for another person."

And my personal favourite..."The home you find in someone."

To worry, or not to worry...that is the question!

Summer is suppose to be a time of rejuvenation, a time to relax while enjoying the warmth of the sun and the energy it provides us with. Especially for students, the summer is a time to leave those school woes behind and bask in many well deserved adventures and memories alongside some neglected ol' pals. But why is it, that even with school finished for the year, and with May temperatures already reaching 35 degrees C. many people ( at least in my life, including myself) can't find the time or reason to relax. I know this blog is supposed to be one of the uplifting kind, filled with funny anecdotes and lighthearted stories and thoughts, but, I need to bring attention to this matter and the fact that we're all in it together! I promise to end on positive note...or at least, I hope to. ;)

Life moves so quickly. Even during those long, drawn out days; you may not realize it at that moment, but your life is passing you by. The old saying comes to mind, "Don't forget to stop and smell the roses," and personally, I often do forget. It seems I'm always in rush, or in some kind of panic over money, time, friends, family or just situations that I create in my head because I apparently have nothing better to do. LOL I think we as a society, don't take the time to breathe, to feel fully without criticism, or to think-through situations. When we feel a wave anxiety come overhead, we panic. We forget at that moment, to ask questions:
What has caused me to react this way?
Why should/would this affect me?
What can I do right now to help this situation?
These questions can provide some relief, but are often forgotten about.

Anxiety usually rears its ugly head after a build up of suppressed emotions that can no longer stay in hiding. There is too much pressure and criticism put on emotional release. THIS IS WHO WE ARE! We are people, humans, beings that are meant to feel pain when you scrape your knee, the betrayal of people you thought were your friends, the sadness when someone close to you passes away. These are all normal reactions and emotions. We have to be less critical of ourselves and of each other. If we dealt these emotions when they first surfaced perhaps we wouldn't have a full blown release at work or in the middle of dinner. Even so, we should be there for one another, not judge each other and think, "God, what a drama queen/cry baby!" Be gentle and have a little empathy.

One way of combating this "disorder" is in your breath. A great, big 'ol belly breath! I know we've all heard that ten full breaths will calm your heart rate.....and it's true. So do it! We take breathing for granted. Its automatic; we do it without thinking. But actually try to be mindful of how you breathe, of how your body wants to naturally breathe. Perhaps it needs a really deep, full grab of air, or maybe a few stable short breaths will do it...just tap in, be aware, and respect yourself.

The thing about life is that things always seem to work out! I'm not saying to NOT take any responsibility for your life/actions, but to place trust in your family, friends and most importantly yourself. We're often to proud or ashamed to ask for help or guidance, but to no surprise if we, ourselves, were ever called upon, we would help without a second thought.

Looking over this entry I realize, I need to take my own advice! haha These thoughts and tips are nothing new to any of us. But sometimes we all need a little reminder from time to time. :)

....Not such a "Big" city afterall.

In theory, this city is so big! We're talking millions of people that live in Toronto. Just when you think, you'll never see certain people again, or randomly bump into people from the past...it happens. It happens, probably more often than when I'm visiting my modest, rural hometown. It usually happens during very awkward or uncomfortable moments...

1. While mid-bite at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant.



2. Sliding up against them while on a greasy, sweat-infused dancefloor.



3. Exchanging big, purple stained, teethy smiles at a wine bar.



4. Watching one another at an amateur comedy night.



5. Or seated next to eachother waiting to see a doctor at a walk-in health clinic.

But, I suppose the probability of these encounters are actually greater than you think. I mean, if these people you are running into are old friends or relations, than the common ground is there. Obviously you connected at one time, so it shouldn't be such a shock when you run into them at an amateur comedy hour if you both shared the love of watching painfully, ridiculously, average comedians nose-dive in a room where they have spit out the same jokes to the point you, yourself could recite'em back to them.

Really, any of the examples I listed earlier could be taken into consideration. Well, except for the walk-in clinic; that would definately be a coincidence. Unless you both shared a case of the "clumsy's." :)

And the Summer Begins....

First allow me to apologize for slacking in the blogging department. I got a little swept away with school this past month and didn't have much time or energy to try and think of positive anecdotes or stories to write. lol
But as of tomorrow, my first year of Humber PR will be completed, I move to Kensington this Saturday and then my summer of love, music, and soul can begin!
Mmmmm summer! There are so many beautiful things about that season that I enjoy. Do not be fooled though, I was not always a fan of summer. I mean, I don't think I could live in a country where it is essentially summer all year long. I appreciate summer because it is part of the four seasons that us Canadians are blessed to have and experience.

Things I love About Summer:

flowy dresses
birkenstocks
golden sun-kissed skin
cottaging/camping
drum circles and impromptu outdoor dance parties/jam sessions
spiced rum
ice cream!
long summer hours of sun
Bonnaroo :)
summer flings
skinny dipping
smores'
orchard blossoms
local fruit and veggie stands back home
wine tastings at local wineries
and the list goes on......

I know I should enjoy the season at hand, but when its this close, I mean, you can smell summer is just around the corner....you can't help but pull out your summer clothes and sandals, sangria pitchers and sun tan lotion. I can't wait to experience a summer downtown in the heart of Toronto. Magic....absolute magic :)

We are all a child of destiny

I think it was at the end of last summer that I came to this conclusion....now,this is merely my own opinion, and in no way or form am I trying to push my beliefs upon anyone....

As I sat down one day reflecting on that summer, that year, all my travels and experiences, I realized that it is not our lives that are predetermined, those in fact we are in control of. It is the people that walk into our lives that are destined, and there for a specific reason or lesson. No matter how brief the encounter, or how minimal the conversation is, they are there on a secret unknown mission. It is up to us whether we want to acknowledge their teachings, and it is up to us whether we want to apply those teachings to further ourselves along in the creation of our own destiny. When you think of that old flame who broke your heart, that co-worker that walked all over you, or that wise ol'woman behind the counter of your favourite cafe...they all came into your life at a certain time, for a specific reason. And if you open your eyes the next time you meet someone, perhaps you'll see what lesson it was that you were meant to share. :)

BEST Birthday/Reading Week Ever!!

Here is how a week of super late nights, GO train travel, dancing, chocolate, wine, work, 3-day birthday celebration, tequila and jazz have left me at the end of the week. I am currently immobile with a seized lower back, exhausted....but don't let that pouty lip fool you! I had the BEST week! Thanks to all who contributed to this mess :)

Long nights, No patience= Cabbies!

As much as I hate to share this, especially if my mother is checking up on me, but recently I've been indulging in the fine and quick services of the taxi cab companies of Toronto. Lazy, sure. Lack of patience for the streetcar, indeed. But I think now, I've actually come to the realization that I just enjoy the company of the cab driver. I have been blessed to have some of the nicest, funniest, and deep thinking cabbies.

After impromptu motown with Rae on thursday night we grabbed a cab and he played Sam Cooke for me all the way home! Him and I were both singing out loud, boppin' around...it was amazing!

The other night after work at 3:30am (which is when I usually take a cab home, because the clientele on the Queen streetcar at that hour isn't the classiest or cleanest) I had a cabbie who, without even being asked a question, decided to burst out and break down what a good relationship is, how I should never settle, the key elements to a lasting relationship....now of course at this point I ask how long he's been with his girlfriend, to which I receive a response of, "Girlfriend?! Shit no, I'm way too smart to be tied down by some crazy woman!." end of quote.

I had another cab driver a few weeks ago who seemed very anti-social, had a furrow brow, and didn't say a word. Until about 15 minutes in, and three blocks away from my house when he abruptly broke the silence with an earth shattering belly laugh followed by why he loves Valentine's Day and all the wild women, escapades and memories he has taken from that day. He told me this in a very non-creepy manner, don't be too concerned. He turned out to be the jolliest of men!

It just goes to show, Amanda Marshall was right....everybody DOES have a story! But I suppose I could meet new people for free and swap stories , rather than pay $40 for a cab to hear them. :)