What is love?

It's one of those questions, we know takes a little time to answer, but we think we can define what love is...but can we?

According to Socrates and Plato there are 4 types of love;

Eros version 1- Which is lustful and full of desire=sex

Eros version 2- Which is the romantic kind of love

Philia- The love for friends

Agape-The love for humanity; for each other

The love I'm referring to is Eros 2, romantic love. Today in my philosophy of success class, we discussed the relationship of love and success, and is success achieved when you find love? Over the past week we were given sticky notes and assigned to ask five people in our lives to write their own definition of love. When in class we took each definition and taped them to the wall. It was interesting to compare the definitions, and see how different each answer was. All the while still speaking the truth of love.

Some definitions were profound and poetic, others were short and simple, and naturally, there were some that spoke of the hardships and heartbreak that come with love. I think when we are trying to explain what love is ( in a positive manner) the words "unconditional," and "everlasting" seem to pop up quite frequently. Those words are romanticized and used to express the intensity of devotion. But I fear, we have to be careful of what words we use to teach children of what love is. It's unfortunate to say, but I look at cases of young females who are in abusive relationships but cannot turn away because of how we use these romanticized adjectives.

I am not trying to make it piss pour over "love." I very much still believe in a love that can last a lifetime. But what my professor, Wendy explained to us, that if we were all asked to draw a vase, that all of our vases would look different. But they would all be recognizably a vase.

Whether it be an intense chemical reaction, a mutual agreement, or butterflies in your stomach, I think love is when you find someone who has the same definition or a complimenting definition to that of your own.

Examples of Definitions

"To care about a person, more than you care about yourself."

"The perfect union of two souls."

"Unconditional mutual acceptance."

"When your mate let's you eat the last bite."

"A golden wedding anniversary."

"A facade; to be naive."

"Blinded by another."

"To willingly compromise for another person."

And my personal favourite..."The home you find in someone."

To worry, or not to worry...that is the question!

Summer is suppose to be a time of rejuvenation, a time to relax while enjoying the warmth of the sun and the energy it provides us with. Especially for students, the summer is a time to leave those school woes behind and bask in many well deserved adventures and memories alongside some neglected ol' pals. But why is it, that even with school finished for the year, and with May temperatures already reaching 35 degrees C. many people ( at least in my life, including myself) can't find the time or reason to relax. I know this blog is supposed to be one of the uplifting kind, filled with funny anecdotes and lighthearted stories and thoughts, but, I need to bring attention to this matter and the fact that we're all in it together! I promise to end on positive note...or at least, I hope to. ;)

Life moves so quickly. Even during those long, drawn out days; you may not realize it at that moment, but your life is passing you by. The old saying comes to mind, "Don't forget to stop and smell the roses," and personally, I often do forget. It seems I'm always in rush, or in some kind of panic over money, time, friends, family or just situations that I create in my head because I apparently have nothing better to do. LOL I think we as a society, don't take the time to breathe, to feel fully without criticism, or to think-through situations. When we feel a wave anxiety come overhead, we panic. We forget at that moment, to ask questions:
What has caused me to react this way?
Why should/would this affect me?
What can I do right now to help this situation?
These questions can provide some relief, but are often forgotten about.

Anxiety usually rears its ugly head after a build up of suppressed emotions that can no longer stay in hiding. There is too much pressure and criticism put on emotional release. THIS IS WHO WE ARE! We are people, humans, beings that are meant to feel pain when you scrape your knee, the betrayal of people you thought were your friends, the sadness when someone close to you passes away. These are all normal reactions and emotions. We have to be less critical of ourselves and of each other. If we dealt these emotions when they first surfaced perhaps we wouldn't have a full blown release at work or in the middle of dinner. Even so, we should be there for one another, not judge each other and think, "God, what a drama queen/cry baby!" Be gentle and have a little empathy.

One way of combating this "disorder" is in your breath. A great, big 'ol belly breath! I know we've all heard that ten full breaths will calm your heart rate.....and it's true. So do it! We take breathing for granted. Its automatic; we do it without thinking. But actually try to be mindful of how you breathe, of how your body wants to naturally breathe. Perhaps it needs a really deep, full grab of air, or maybe a few stable short breaths will do it...just tap in, be aware, and respect yourself.

The thing about life is that things always seem to work out! I'm not saying to NOT take any responsibility for your life/actions, but to place trust in your family, friends and most importantly yourself. We're often to proud or ashamed to ask for help or guidance, but to no surprise if we, ourselves, were ever called upon, we would help without a second thought.

Looking over this entry I realize, I need to take my own advice! haha These thoughts and tips are nothing new to any of us. But sometimes we all need a little reminder from time to time. :)

....Not such a "Big" city afterall.

In theory, this city is so big! We're talking millions of people that live in Toronto. Just when you think, you'll never see certain people again, or randomly bump into people from the past...it happens. It happens, probably more often than when I'm visiting my modest, rural hometown. It usually happens during very awkward or uncomfortable moments...

1. While mid-bite at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant.



2. Sliding up against them while on a greasy, sweat-infused dancefloor.



3. Exchanging big, purple stained, teethy smiles at a wine bar.



4. Watching one another at an amateur comedy night.



5. Or seated next to eachother waiting to see a doctor at a walk-in health clinic.

But, I suppose the probability of these encounters are actually greater than you think. I mean, if these people you are running into are old friends or relations, than the common ground is there. Obviously you connected at one time, so it shouldn't be such a shock when you run into them at an amateur comedy hour if you both shared the love of watching painfully, ridiculously, average comedians nose-dive in a room where they have spit out the same jokes to the point you, yourself could recite'em back to them.

Really, any of the examples I listed earlier could be taken into consideration. Well, except for the walk-in clinic; that would definately be a coincidence. Unless you both shared a case of the "clumsy's." :)

And the Summer Begins....

First allow me to apologize for slacking in the blogging department. I got a little swept away with school this past month and didn't have much time or energy to try and think of positive anecdotes or stories to write. lol
But as of tomorrow, my first year of Humber PR will be completed, I move to Kensington this Saturday and then my summer of love, music, and soul can begin!
Mmmmm summer! There are so many beautiful things about that season that I enjoy. Do not be fooled though, I was not always a fan of summer. I mean, I don't think I could live in a country where it is essentially summer all year long. I appreciate summer because it is part of the four seasons that us Canadians are blessed to have and experience.

Things I love About Summer:

flowy dresses
birkenstocks
golden sun-kissed skin
cottaging/camping
drum circles and impromptu outdoor dance parties/jam sessions
spiced rum
ice cream!
long summer hours of sun
Bonnaroo :)
summer flings
skinny dipping
smores'
orchard blossoms
local fruit and veggie stands back home
wine tastings at local wineries
and the list goes on......

I know I should enjoy the season at hand, but when its this close, I mean, you can smell summer is just around the corner....you can't help but pull out your summer clothes and sandals, sangria pitchers and sun tan lotion. I can't wait to experience a summer downtown in the heart of Toronto. Magic....absolute magic :)

We are all a child of destiny

I think it was at the end of last summer that I came to this conclusion....now,this is merely my own opinion, and in no way or form am I trying to push my beliefs upon anyone....

As I sat down one day reflecting on that summer, that year, all my travels and experiences, I realized that it is not our lives that are predetermined, those in fact we are in control of. It is the people that walk into our lives that are destined, and there for a specific reason or lesson. No matter how brief the encounter, or how minimal the conversation is, they are there on a secret unknown mission. It is up to us whether we want to acknowledge their teachings, and it is up to us whether we want to apply those teachings to further ourselves along in the creation of our own destiny. When you think of that old flame who broke your heart, that co-worker that walked all over you, or that wise ol'woman behind the counter of your favourite cafe...they all came into your life at a certain time, for a specific reason. And if you open your eyes the next time you meet someone, perhaps you'll see what lesson it was that you were meant to share. :)

BEST Birthday/Reading Week Ever!!

Here is how a week of super late nights, GO train travel, dancing, chocolate, wine, work, 3-day birthday celebration, tequila and jazz have left me at the end of the week. I am currently immobile with a seized lower back, exhausted....but don't let that pouty lip fool you! I had the BEST week! Thanks to all who contributed to this mess :)

Long nights, No patience= Cabbies!

As much as I hate to share this, especially if my mother is checking up on me, but recently I've been indulging in the fine and quick services of the taxi cab companies of Toronto. Lazy, sure. Lack of patience for the streetcar, indeed. But I think now, I've actually come to the realization that I just enjoy the company of the cab driver. I have been blessed to have some of the nicest, funniest, and deep thinking cabbies.

After impromptu motown with Rae on thursday night we grabbed a cab and he played Sam Cooke for me all the way home! Him and I were both singing out loud, boppin' around...it was amazing!

The other night after work at 3:30am (which is when I usually take a cab home, because the clientele on the Queen streetcar at that hour isn't the classiest or cleanest) I had a cabbie who, without even being asked a question, decided to burst out and break down what a good relationship is, how I should never settle, the key elements to a lasting relationship....now of course at this point I ask how long he's been with his girlfriend, to which I receive a response of, "Girlfriend?! Shit no, I'm way too smart to be tied down by some crazy woman!." end of quote.

I had another cab driver a few weeks ago who seemed very anti-social, had a furrow brow, and didn't say a word. Until about 15 minutes in, and three blocks away from my house when he abruptly broke the silence with an earth shattering belly laugh followed by why he loves Valentine's Day and all the wild women, escapades and memories he has taken from that day. He told me this in a very non-creepy manner, don't be too concerned. He turned out to be the jolliest of men!

It just goes to show, Amanda Marshall was right....everybody DOES have a story! But I suppose I could meet new people for free and swap stories , rather than pay $40 for a cab to hear them. :)

My Girl Wants to Party All the Time

For those of you who have not had your hearts touched by one of the greatest collaborations of all time...well, shame on you. Rick James and Eddie Murphy- Party All the Time. What could be more amazing...yet, delightfully pathetic? Actually, Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson- What's Up with You. This little diddy of a video was just introduced to me the other day (kudos Andy). I now have a whole new appreciation for the experimentation of creating a music video. If these don't make you smile, I don't know what will :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAcWl9qu3h8&feature=related- note: the hand clapping, snapping, high pitch vocals, and enthusiasm from Rick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9cQOcAC_K8- note: the lack of connecting factors with the chorus to each verse also the aggressive mouth covering at the very end of the video by Eddie.

Mo' Motown Please!

Late last summer, while I came up to the city to visit Julie one weekend, we stumbled upon a special event that has since left me with a fever; a fever for Motown!

I'm sure most of you have either heard me rave about it, felt my excitement through Facebook updates, or have actually braved the dance floor of Sneaky Dee's alongside me for this one evening. It has to be said, that Shadows of Motown is my current 'bread n butter' of life. The anticipation of finally receiving the date for this once a month sensation just about kills me. I find myself constantly flipping through the pages of NOW magazine and the Eye Weekly, as well checking their website every other day in hopes that they will have announced the next date so that I can make sure I book this night off work.

"Is it worth the loss of money?", I'm sure you re asking yourselves right now. My only reply to this ridiculous question is "HELL YES!".

Something happens to people on the dance floor when Motown is played. It's as if you re in costume, you can do anything or be anyone you want to be without the fear of looking like a fool. The bigger the movements, the wilder the outfits, the sweatier you are.....the better!

A lot of people question what Motown is? They seem unsure if they've ever even heard a Motown song. Motown is all that great soul and R n'B from the late 60s and 70s. Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Diana Ross, The Temptations...the list goes on.

I could talk about this special night, and special genre of music for hours. But what I am trying to say within this ramble is, if you're looking to let loose, shake those hips, and for one night travel back to a time when music was original, and felt in the soul...you need to check up on Shadows of Motown at Sneaky Dee's, Toronto. Make sure you look for me, I'll be the one on stage, with a bottle of Mill St. in hand doing the "mashed potato". :)

An Apology

I would just like to apologize to a certain someone... When we first met a few years back, I was very hesitant, and two-faced towards you...I mean, I barely even knew you. And although we have become the best of friends, the guilt lives on inside me. Avocado, my darling Avo, you mean the world to me and I hope we can now move on, and fully relish in your smooth, buttery charm.

The Sounds of the English Language

Everyone has a word or words that just make then cringe. So much so, that they find it even hard to utter the word out loud.
I've gone through a few stages, with a few certain words....but I'd love to hear yours too! So we can bask in the pure disgust of the English language together :)

Words Tess Does Not Feel Comfortable Hearing/Saying:

Gnurble- the fatty part of the ham
Dink- Ugh...i HATE this word the most! So prepubescent and awkward.
Booby- again, for the same reason.
Moist- Now, I'm not disgusted with this word, but I just think it sounds funny. But it is fun to say!
Chagrin ( pronounced "sh")-This word was recently brought to my attention in class. I had no idea how to spell it or what it meant. But I was determined to use it in a sentence this week...To her chagrin, the party had ended as she arrived." :)

Words Tess Really Enjoys Hearing/Saying:

Giggle- I like to use it as much as possible. It's just fun and cute and instantly lights up any room.
Poop- I dunno why...but I'm chuckling right now just typing it.
Love- For the obvious reasons...the meaning, and all that falls into the word.
Hannah-Although, more of a name rather than a word. But you can spell it both frontwards and backwards!
Onomatopoeia-It just sounds funny :) e.g-"sizzle"-The word sounds like sound it makes!

I've told you mine, now tell me yours :)

Little Kid Therapy

You know those days when nothing seems to be going right and you have your back up over something so insignificant,and so meaningless? But then, all of a sudden life throws you a lifesaver, a random something or someone who instantly calms you down and makes you realize there was no reason to stress out and overreact.

A couple of months ago I was taking the Queen streetcar back home after getting denied an account at an indie movie store all the way over on Church ( and no, it wasn't a gay porn video store). I was so irritated, I had traveled all that way after a long day of classes, and I hadn't eaten dinner and you all know what happens when my blood sugar levels drop ;) It was 8 p.m. So there I sat, sour faced, and hungry staring blankly out the window when a little hand reached out from the seat in front of me. It was this beautiful little girl , no older that 4 years,with olive skin, and golden brown tendrils. She just looked at me with the biggest smile and giggled! The best giggle I've ever heard, besides my sister Sydnay's when she was that age. It was so out of control and genuine, I couldn't help but start to giggle with her. There the two of us sat, crammed in the middle of a packed streetcar feeding off each others' laughter, even her mother eventually joined in. It was that moment that I realized my problems, were not problems.

Even now when I feel like my world might cave in, I sometimes think back to that little girl; her innocence, and joy, and I instantly feel thankful. If getting rejected by a snooty "queen "at a video store is the worst thing that happens to me in a day....I think I'll survive. :)

Thinking Out Loud

Well, here I go...I've finally created a blog! After too many lacklustre evenings alone, reading the blogs of friends and family, I've decided that I too will share the random thoughts of my day for all to read...that is, if anyone is curious to the inner stirrings that take place within my mind. Those that know me well, and have the pleasure of seeing me on a day to day basis, know just how random and bizarre my thought process can be. Abrupt, candid, and often inappropriate, I feel if my quirkiness can somehow bring a smile to one's face, I've done something right....even if they may be laughing AT me rather than WITH me. You need to have a little humility to have some sanity.

I will attempt to keep this blog up to date and share with you my ideas, raves, pictures, music, and people....basically all the things that make me smile. There are so many moments in a day that can take you from a perfectly good mood to a sour bitch mood ( pardon my french) at the drop of a hat. I want this blog to be a reminder that although it takes no time at all for your day to turn "sour" , it takes just as little time for it to taste "sweet" again.